Knight life
by Darth Krande
Summary: A "fourth wall" story: screenshots from behind the scenes of the original Knight Rider. When FLAG life gets boring, an old friend shows up with an idea that would change the Knights' life forever.
1. Idea approved

'Michael, you know that the Foundation cannot grant us all the money if we go on like this'.

This didn't sound good.

'So?' Michael grinned. 'Do you want me to work as a washmachine agent until another case shows up? Because in our current situation, that's the best idea I have!'

Devon tried to smile at this, but it almost turned into a grin. They haven't recieved an assignment since Easter. People seemed to trust the police with their problems more than the FLAG. If this would continue, they would all go mad.

'Do you remember the Glen Larson case?' Devon asked suddenly. 'I met him yesterday, and ....' suddenly he went silent.

'And what?'

'KARR already approved, but I need your opinion too, because it's mainly you and KITT who will be the most involved.'

'KARR? KARR is a four-wheeled madness! Whatever he approoved sounds bad already.'

'That's prejudice, Michael. KARR is an intelligent being, just like you or KITT.'

'KITT would've never jumped off a cliff in the name of self-preservation'.

Devon Miles nodded. He picked up a pile of A/4 papers, and handed them over to Michael.

'Here are the first manuscripts. They still need some work on' he added, ignoring Michael Knight's comment.

Manuscripts? Of what?

'KARR said it should be made in honour of Wilton Knight.'

That was something Michael Knight couldn't argue with.

He wished he could.


	2. The Crew

Two Trans-Ams drove through the elegant garden. One was dark blue and white, the other one was totally black. A whole convoy followed them: two producers, a recording staff, pyrotechnicians, two sponsors. A huge truck followed them, it was actualls a moving editor room.

The guests parked in front of the medieval-looking castle. Devon and the producer greeted each other warmly.

'Last time I was here, this castle was crowded with technicians' Larson stated. Devon didn't tell him that the FLAG could no longer afford such research like it used to be in the good old days.

'At least, they won't distract your staff, Glen' he said. 'Let me show you around.'

A cameraman gasped. 'I already love this place!'

Bonnie and April were explaining the technical details to the film's technicians. When one lady got tired of talking, the other continued.

'We moved here all the contemporary equipment we laid in lavender. The events of first few episodes actually took place about four years ago, and this room was re-furnished exactly the way it was at that time. Any questions?'

'What's this for?' the visitors asked, each of them pointing at a different tool or instrument. 'And where are the cars?'

'I have to admit, KARR takes it better than I expected.'

'In other words, you take it worse than you expected, KITT. Besides, it was his idea.'

'It was the idea of Mr. Larson' the black car pointed out.

'And we didn't veto it in time' Michael sighed. 'How can you just take it as a mission?'

'Because it is a mission, Michael. Even if it is an unusual one.'

'By the looks of it, it will be the most boring mission I have ever been given.'

KITT was silent for a few minutes, scanning the make-up team as they were preparing for the pilot studies. Behind them, a small group was agruing about which angle they should shoot from. Not far away, the pyrotechnician staff was talking to the stunts. A sponsor's representative was making a phone call. A pyrotechnician was also on the phone, happily spreading the word that they were given permission to blow up a whole airplane right in the pilot episode. Both members of a married couple were flirting with someone they never met before.

'You know, Pal, I'm really thankful they didn't need to carry a script writer with them.'

'If you mean you liked the script I wrote, you can say it directly.'

'Thank you, KITT.'

'You're welcome, Michael.'

A cheated boyfriend smacked the false husband into the thick walls of the castle. Strange noises came from the large truck, and a stunt drove into three different garages until he was finally stopped by the oldest tree in the park. 'I think that was a good demonstration of our everyday life, sir' the stunt driver was trying to say this to the producer, but he faced an angry sponsor instead. The pyrotechnicians almost blew up an innocent bush. A cable, belonging to a microphone maybe, tangled with the ivy that covered the building, and when somebody tried to run to the producer with the mic, the whole green plant was torn down from the wall, and it covered a dozen people like a military scrim.

The dark blue Trans-Am made his way through the already sceaming crowd, speeding among them as if he was rolling for his life. He broke a leg, a few chairs and a camera that was standing in his way. Not concerned with the damage he caused, KARR drove away according to his main programing.

'Coward'KITT hissed. Michael understood this comment as his own car would've loved to run away from this madhouse just like his brother did.

'Don't be jealous, Pal, you will be the action hero.'

'Or a nervous wreck, Michael.'


	3. Casting

In a few days, the Knights got used to the staff. Michael sued for an actress, an assistant and a stunts coordinator at the same time. KARR, trying to proove his courage to the world and himself, volunteered to be the stunt for KITT, making sure his younger brother won't get a scratch on him when the story doesn't require that. Meanwhile, the younger but more experienced KITT wrote the scripts, chose the shooting locations, negotiated with the producers, and remained modest in spite of all. Devon made sure that the filming would never disturb FLAG's real life work, even if they will have any work again. April didn't want to be in the show, so she handed all her part over to Bonnie while shooting the second episode.

The wrong-programmed but older TransAm had to find an actor worthy for the role of Wilton Knight. And he was dead serious about it.

It was a long way from the FLAG properties to the studio. Michael spent this time with the assistant while KITT was driving behind the semitruck. KARR was inside the semi, with Devon and April sitting comfortably on his engine hood. The humans were watching a film about murders at the Olympic Games in 1972. The car didn't seem to care much, not until he saw the character Willy Brandt.

'That's him' he whispered, as if he was amazed. 'He's just like Wilton was when we first met.'

'You mean the actor?' April asked, unsuspecting.

KARR made a telephone call, connecting the inside of the semi to the studio in Hollywood. He was told that Richard Basehart was currently in New York, visiting some old friends there.

April's reflexes were good enough, she jumped off the hood as KARR backed out of the moving semitruck. Devon, however, got trapped on the top of the oddly behaving Trans-Am, and before he would've realised, they were already heading towards New York at full speed.

'Hey! KARR! Slow down, you canned madness! You're going to kill me if we go on like this!'

Sadly, taking care of human life was something KARR was never good at. 'I said, slow down!

KITT, realising the situation and guessing what might have happened, boosted towards them, opening the passenger's door so that Devon could get inside. KARR, now without his cargo and being streamlined again, left them without any further notice.

'You're still good' Michael had to admit, as Devon seated himself in the passenger's seat. Mr Knight and the pretty assistant were still half-naked, as they were busy with each other until Devon Miles arrived. The older man shook his fist towards the dark blue and white Trans-Am.

'For next time, I demand a stuntman, KARR! Can you hear me?'

KARR still didn't care for what Devon said. Maybe he didn't even notice that he almost kidnapped his own boss.

'Welcome aboard, Mr. Miles. I hope you will have a safer journey, from now on.'

'Thank you, KITT.'


	4. A good day at White Rock

'April said that the series could possibly work as advertising' KITT mentioned after a long day's shooting. 'So far, we only extended our 'vacation' by a month, and we still didn't recieve a mission.'

Michael Knight was just as troubled as his car, but he didn't want to show.

'Do you think it's advertising?'

'Compared to an advertisement, our TV show gives no way of interaction.'

'You are the script writer, Pal. Modify the script for our next episode so that our phone number can be included.'

'As you wish, Michael.'

'Thanks, Pal. I'm tired of being an actor while I should be working for FLAG!'

'We _are_ working for FLAG.'

Michael had a serious doubt about it.

'I was thinking about our first vacasion together. For the next episode, would you mind writing that?'

'You climbing White Rock and playing chicken with the Scorpions?'

'Yes, KITT.'

'I was always proud not being a motorcycle.'

Michael and KITT might have been bored with filming, but KARR enjoyed being a stunt. He did most of the jumping scenes, and KITT sometimes teased him with the idea of being driven by a human.

'Never again.' KARR pretended to be adamant on this. 'You do the human scenes. Since we don't plan any causalties during filming, you have to handle that.'

'What is it?' the producer asked. He was still amused by the two talking cars, and had the bad habit of overhearing them whenever he was given a choice.

'I just stated that I prefer the humans on the outside, if they have to be somewhere.' KARR explained.

'Which makes me remembeer, you need to get a dye soon' KITT said, as if he was smiling. He was originally black, and, thanks to the molecular bonded shell, his blackness stayed as it was. But KARR was dark blue mostly, with some silvery white on his underbody. His shell kept this pattern, and usually, he really liked it. Simlpy, he didn't want to be mistaken for KITT. Those who stood in the way of the black Trans-Am were smiling and trying to get a photo taken with the black beauty. But when they saw the dark blue KARR approaching, they knew they had to get out of the way and not to mess with somebody stronger than them.

The black paint wasn't easy to use on the shell, and came off too easily. While shooting on a dusty road, half of KARR's blackness disappeared. If the camera was in the wrong place, the amber scanner could also be spotted, and even the statists could tell which shot was made with the real KITT and which one was made with his man-hating brother.

'Nobody will ever pause the video frame by frame, and check if they saw a silver or a black underbody' the producer said. 'And, what if? Filming is not about reality, tricks are more than allowed in our job.'

KITT only hoped that no-one will ever watch the show frame by frame, and start asking where did the blackness go during the motorbike chase.


	5. Slammin' Sammy's Spectacular Stunt Show

Devon Miles had a talent and a practice of looking troubled. He said that he didn't have nearly as much trouble in Wilton Knight's time, and he didn't even have to make faces until Michael showed up. But since then, he got quite experienced in it. Now, thanks to KITT, he made some use of this in front of the cameras.

'I don't know why do I let somebody too familiar with us to do the script for me' he murmured when he read his part of the Slammin' Sammy's Stunt Show Spectacular.

'Good old memories, right?' Michael smiled, when they arrived at the stunt show arena. He hadn't been here for years. For KITT, it was like a playground.

'I hope I won't have to wear star stickers all over my body again.'

'You're quite good at lamenting, KITT. A few years ago, I may have believed you.'

Slammin' Sammy greeted them with the warmest welcome possible: for this spectacular show, he came up with ideas of brilliant stunt tricks that even KITT found challenging. Then, he stared for a whole minute without blinking, when he saw KARR rolling right behind the black Trans-Am he was already familiar with.

'If you want a real driver's challenge, find somebody who will be able to drive him for longer than five minutes' the producer said when he saw Sammy's jaw drop.

'OK!' the stunt boss smiled, but then his smile froze on his face. 'Why?'

'Because nobody has ever managed that' April told him. 'At least, not with his 'Auto cruise' enabled'.

The filming staff set up their tents in one corner of the arena, the other was emptied for the stunt drivers trying to take on KARR. It was like a real rodeo for them. Save for the difference between a bull and a never behaving car: the bull weights a kip less, and usually doesn't come with laser. However, ejecting the pilot was something they had in common, and most candidates already knew this kind of tricks. KARR allowed them to learn other tricks of his the hard way.

Slammin' Sammy had a few old grandstands which he was ready to sacrifize for the show.

'I saved them directly for KITT since I know how much he likes crushing into walls of different materials.'

'Yes, but we will need perfect timing and a brave stunt for Bill Gordon's role. He would be the perfect choice for playing his own self, but he's still in prison, I fear.'

'I wouldn't even risk his life' KITT protested.

'Why? What's the problem, really?'

'This equipment stored under the grandstands jams my scanner' KITT said. 'I will have to enter from another direction, or I may endanger the actor, which I do not want.'

They all fell silent, watching a driver wannabe flying over their heads.

'It looks like KARR is having fun.'

The dark blue Trans-Am gracefully rolled back to the queue of the brave stunts who thought they can take on a car like him. One by one, they tried, and took off pretty soon.

Airplanes and ejected stunt drivers have something in common: none of them remained in the air forever. One of them arrived on the camera, the other landed on a grandstage that was about to collapse anyway. Now that it had a good reason to collapse, it had done so. The footage was later used in many different films and shows.

KITT wondered if they should stay here for longer. This place felt like Paradise! Maybe going on a mission was even better, but he almost forgot how that felt like. Michael reminded him of that after the daily work.

A few stunts asked for a second go, hoping that they won't fly away this time. Most of them obviously did, but there were some who were holding on too tight, and didn't allow KARR to simply eject them. For them, KARR opened the doors, and included a few spins and hairpin turns in his show. He looped the loop, or did a two-wheel ski driving. But one driver still remained in the driver's seat. Unheard of! For what the driver cared, KARR could have even jumped a triple Axel or a one-wheel Salchow. He was running out of tricks, and running out of time.

He deflated a front wheel, as if bowing down. For the first time since his activation, he admitted the defeat. This guy just prooved himself worthy of driving him! That has never happened to him before.

He had to think about it. What if he finally surrenders to people? Will this man take him on missions, just like Michael takes his brother KITT? He wished he knew. He slowed down and obediently parked himself next to the garages.

'Oh, no! What is it, a puncture?' the driver said. 'Let me see.' To examine the deflated front wheel, he got out of the car. Two seconds before the one minute would have been over. KARR re-inflated the wheel in joy and watched the man's jaw drop as he drove away from him. He rated his own freedom beyond anything else. Afterall, isn't freedom the right of all sentient beings?


	6. Just my bill

KITT asked Devon if he's interested in a small change of the roles.

"What do you mean by that, KITT?"

"Maybe you could save a life once."

"I did. And I grew old and retired from that! I served in the Army with Wilton. We saved lots of lives. Haven't I told you about a million stories from that time?"

"And don't you miss it, Mr. Miles?"

"I do" Devon nodded. "That is why I have you, that is why the Foundation is working."

"But don't you miss the field work?"

Devon patted the black surface of the wonderful car.

"Sometimes, I do. But I have my own task here, and without it, what would you do?"

The same as we do since Easter, KITT thought, but he didn't say a word.

"I just try to get the point of retirement" he explained.

The Semi was still standing where it was parked after Easter. Why would they move it? To waste expensive gasoline? It wasn't nearly as fuel-efficient as KITT or KARR.

KITT was trying to find a parking place, so that he could've been filmed in surveillance mode. He couldn't remember who was that _genie_ who decided to make this scene in a parking house, full of civilian cars.

"...and action!"

"Wait! The camera batteries are down."

KITT waited patiently.

The camera was attached to a cable, and directed at KITT's scanner.

"OK now?"

It seemed to be.

KITT realised that the cable was squirming right behind his front wheel. To hide it, he moved a little closer.

"KITT!"

"Yes, Mr. Larson?"

"You're supposed to be parked."

"Excuse me."

KITT stayed where he was. The cameraman hid the cable, focused on the ruby scanner, decided to move a little closer... and fell over the cable.

"Maybe we should try somewhere else?"

KITT parked himself at the other end of the parking house, facing the wall.

"We can't see your scanner now."

KITT moved on and parked himself again.

"Now we can't even approach you."

After half an hour searching, KITT found another place for himself. They couldn't even find him there.

"Aren't we meant to film him parking? " an assistant asked. "So far, we only managed to get him on the move. Can you hear me KITT?"

"That sounded as if you were blaming me, Mr. Penner."

"Devon!"

"Yes, KARR?"

"May I borrow the limo? Just for a short sequence."

The old man looked at the amber scanner. Something told him that KARR was up to no good. Would he ask for his permission is the limo would be surely returned in on piece?

"No."

"It'd only be a small chase sequence."

"Exactly that's why!"

The Trans-Am didn't seem to be pleased. Devon reached out for him, and patted his front door.

"At least one of us has to take care of FLAG property, KARR. We cannot afford to get the limo totaled, can we?"

"I will not let KITT even close to the chase" KARR assured him.

"As if you never broke anything."

KARR waited in silence. His personality was very different from KITT's, but keeping an irritating silence was something they had is common. Devon stood up, reaching for his most favourite teacup, the one he got from his daughter almost twenty years ago. The cup slipped from his fingers, fell from the armrest, and broke into small pieces. "Oh no!"

"That's what I was waiting for" KARR said, and rolled out from the manor victorious.

Devon ran to the telephone. He could still be fast if he had to. "KITT? Do me a favor, and keep that scourge brother of yours away from our limo."

KITT gave a sad sigh. Their assignments were so interesting, so spanking! Why does Devon have to rewrite them? Why does he ask him to rewrite them? Was it maybe that FLAG had to buy a completely new limo after that case?

"I edited the script and the Foundation's limo is no longer included in any of the chase scenes" he reported.

"Thank you, KITT."

There was a moment of silence. KITT could hear a distant "Hey! Where are you taking the helicopter?" though the phone.

"Don't worry, Mr. Miles. The explosion will only be simulated."

Devon didn't sound happy with this reply, so KITT tried to cheer him up.

"You won't have to go near it, if you don't feel like."


	7. Not a drop to drink

The Semi was parked close to the FLAG manor, and the technicians had to shoot the scene from a different angle, so that the medieval-like castle would not be too visible in the background. This caused new problems, since part of the trailer's right side was removed for the inside scenes. In the meantime, KITT and KARR were playing darts, shooting their short, slim but strong harpoons at an empty barrel. This either continued as a tug-of-war when they shot at the same time from different direction, or as a freestyle explosion scene when the barrel was not as empty as they thought it was.

"April! Bonnie! How often do I have to tell you to keep them away from the gunpowder?"

"I told you Devon, they're doing this because they're bored."

"Excuse me, Bonnie, but I am not 'bored'. I am simply practising for my role in the episode" KITT stated.

"Uh-huh!" KARR didn't sound as if he believed that explanation. "He's rather practising for the time he will pull dozens of empty tin boxes behind himself, with you in the passenger's seat."

Bonnie's face turned slightly red. Was this the time to discuss her future?

"And a 'Just married' label would look very nicely on you, KITT" KARR continued.

"Is there no way to keep your processor silent, KARR?"

"There is, but I won't let any of you do it again."

Bonnie grabbed an unopened can of coke and aimed it at the dark blue car. "And how about a Coca bath, KARR? Won't you shut up please?"

Menacingly, she shook the coke can, ready to open it if KARR would continue teasing her. Her relationship with Michael was private. Why did they have to equip KITT and KARR with so potent scanners? Where's privacy now?

"KITT! We need you for a fast scene out here! You can go back to the trailer after that."

"I'm coming, Mr. Larson."

Outside of the Semi, the episode's female hero was chatting with Michael. Bonnie had put the shaken coke on a table and marched away.

KITT finished the shot he was needed for, and drove back to the comfortable Semi. In his hurry, he accidentally hit the table with the coke on it, which rolled away, glanced off the wall, rolled between the wheels of the black Trans-Am, and was lost in the grass outside.

KARR pretended not to see it. KITT was inside the Semi, so he didn't even need to pretend.

The director and the producer arrived and joined the discussion between Michael and the lady. Their presence seemed to annoy Michael, he wished he could be left alone with his newest girlfriend. KARR's amber scanners ran like a grin. He turned away, with his harpoon directed at the tin can. He only needed good timing. KITT noticed what his brother was up to, and he decided to intervene. With his car body still in the relative safety of the Semi, he decided to shoot first.

The two harpoons hit the tin at the same time, and the coke spread out like a small fountain as both Trans-Ams were trying to pull it away. The producer screamed, Michael was angry beyond reason, the director was cursing, the lady was left with her pretty dress covered in coke foam and sugar. Bonnie gave the cars a warm smile, and forgave anything they've done to her before.

A part of the dam had to be built for a scene when it would be destroyed. This was done with three yellow Caterpillar bulldozers, and KITT couldn't help teasing their drivers. He didn't even mind they were being filmed: ski driving backwards was a piece of cake for him. But, for some reason, the cameraman was scared. Why?

KITT scanned the area, only to find somebody watching them from behind.

"Michael. What shall I do with a stray bull out there?"

"What? Where?"

"There is a black bull behind us. I can also detect three pick-ups approaching from the left.

"Are they after the bull?"

"I hope so, Michael. That animal is about to demolish my scene."

"Would you suffer very much if you didn't have a showing-off scene in this episode?"

"It's not just about me, Michael. Quite the opposite. I think I am the only one safe from that bull."

Bumm. Bubumm. Bummm.

"What is it, KITT? They're shooting at us?"

"Apparently, Michael. But I believe they aim for the bull, if they know what aiming is."

A bulldoser driver screamed: he got a bullet in his arm. Another bullet hit the bushes next to them.

"Can't they see us?"

"I don't know, Michael. But we need to cut them from our staff before anybody else would get injured."

KITT forced the bull to turn around and run back where he came from.

"You walking beefsteak!" somebody yelled as KITT pursued the bull among the pick-ups. Finally, the animal reached the small river they were filming at. The only bridge was occupied by actors, actresses and their make-up artists. He didn't need to cross the river there, he could swim.

Sadly or not, the pick-ups couldn't.

"That's an island, Michael. Do you think the bull will realise that he's safe there?"

"I don't know, KITT. But whenever I underestimated an animal, I turned out to be wrong."

The waterfall was beautiful and perfect background for a fighting scene.

"But Mr. Larson! Aren't they supposed to attack during the night?"

"We use blue optics on the camera so that it will look as if it was night."

"But that's not the only way to express 'night' in filming" KITT stated. "Night is also a time for nightmares, and I would like to pretend to be one of them."

"You want a horror episode, KITT?"

"No, I only want a horror reference."

"I think I got it. Strange movements, unexpected lights, these are what you think about, right?"

"May I give it a try, Mr. Larson?"

"Go ahead, KITT! I have never seen you being threatening, but I've seen you acting many other roles, so I just say: be creative, KITT!"

Thed black Trans-Am didn't need more encouragement.

While they were shooting the episode, some were trying to shoot the bull. They made each other's work impossible.

"I think we should secure the animal so that we could actually work."

"But how? It's theirs, and their responsibility."

"But our show. Where's KARR when we would need him?"

"There's the bull!"

"Shoot him!"

KITT watched the, from a safe distance. He knew he had no right to interfere once more with this bull affair, but he clearly hoped that the people were not going to destroy the whole dam just to get a good shot at the runaway creature.

He remembered what Michael told him about underestimating animals. Maybe this applies to humans as well?

One of the self-appointed matadors decided to use dynamite, since the bull seemed to be bullet-proof.

"After all, we only damaged the dam a little bit."

"And you flooded a valley."

"Just one third of it!" one of the bull-shooters refused.

"Because the river was blocked by the rocks. Are you proud of yourselves?" Glen asked sarcastically.

The bull hunters didn't take the hint. Yes, they were proud! And their heroism was included in the episode, partly because the intended shots could not be filmed during their noisy hunt.

"And did you get the bull, afterall?" a cameraman asked.

"Sure we did!"

KITT decided that he would endanger human lives if he told them how wrong they were. He couldn't lie to them, so he sat in silence, and hoped they would never grab a weapon again. It would be a lot safer.


	8. No big thing

KITT was watching from a safe distance. This time "safe" meant, safe from Devon Miles. Luckily the man didn't yet realise that the camera he was asked to take with himself on his way to the studio was actually working. Even worse, it was focused on him. He was singing along with a violin, not knowing he was being watched.

"Now I know that I don't have to be ashamed of my singing" Michael Knight commented. "Hey! You never recorded ME singing, did you ever, Pal?"

"I would never do that without your permission, Michael."

"Good."

The black Trans-Am was sitting there in silence, wondering whether he should tell the complete truth or not. He had a brother, Michael knew that. KARR never showed any respect, and he liked to keep interesting files in his memory bank that could be used for blackmailing the singer or torturing anybody else. He even had a treasured recording of Wilton Knight singing under the shower.

"Your jump scenes are quite lame" KARR murmured to his brother. "You will keep on landing on your nose if you keep yourself nose-heavy."

KITT took his prototype's criticism lightly.

"You're the stunt, Automated. The bridge scene is yours."

There was something strange about the truck.

Something really strange.

As the convoy came closer, a bright mass could be seen on the top of the truck's trailer, four wheels up in the air, KARR's amber scranner running under it, as he was pretending to enjoy the panorama. Otherwise, he was a great actor, but now he couldn't hide his anger. Devon couldn't help himself but stare at the unfortunate dark and silver Trans-Am.

„Do I want to know how did you get there?"

Since KARR didn't seem to be in the mood to answer, KITT replied.

„Knowing the circumstances, Mr. Miles, I think the answer is 'No! Not at all'."

Devon grinned. As the truck finally stopped, KARR could use his turbo boost to get off the trailer. Shattered parts of a once-valueable camera followed him. Michael shook his head.

„I hope nobody died" Devon murmured.

„KITT interfered in time" Michael Knight said.

„It sounded as if KITT had to do something with KARR arriving back to FLAG upside down."

„As if." Nobody was willing to say anything more.

KITT's first showing-off scene didn't go very well. Of course he could hit the brakes and then reverse fast, but his alpha circuit was damaged the day before, and he needed Michael's help since he couldn't drive himself. Bonnie and April were on vacation, so he could not be repaired in time. They survived the filming, afterall. And, most importantly, scene was edited into the story almost seamlessly.

Devon was at the hairdresser in the afternoon. Glen was shocked to see him with short hair at the evening filming, especially since he was sheduled for a few re-takes of the prison scene. After the first few minutes, the producer was fed up with his laments about the wig he was forced to wear, and after the first scene finished, he was almost relieved when the old man threw the wig away and decided his haircut was an important element of the story.

KITT realised it too late that Devon Miles has returned him the favor: next day he was filmed with a hidden camera as he was taking stepdance lessons at a fuel station.

With his trainer wearing Devon's wig.


	9. Trust doesn't rust

KARR spent the night in the drive-in, being quite amused by the anger of Three Rings' workers. He occupied the place right next to the microphone so that nobody could order their essential morning coffee and breakfast.

Some people tried to tow him away, which made his morning fun even better. He moved a few inches forward when they attempted to put the rope on him from behind, but he backed away when he was approached from the front. When he was finally cornered, he ski drove and left the scene on his right wheels. He even wobbled a bit, as if waving goodbye.

Back at the Knight manor, KITT was helping the editors to separate the useable footage from the goofy takes. They had plenty of these, most of them had humans in the wrong place. When he was meant to be driving himself, Michael could be seen quite clearly. When he was supposed to be with Michael, he had Devon, Glen Larson, or a few cameramen on board. In one chase sequence, he was left without a single passenger, because his partner was having breakfast far behind the scenes. (At least that was what he told the staff. In fact, Michael was still asleep then, and he was not sleeping alone.) Later, he found an old scene in the "must be used once" box. It was made during the street chase: Michael drove KITT in front of the cameras, and, in the next moment, KARR was there for a collision scene that no passenger would have survived. Until that, he was hiding in a building and literally jumped into action as KITT stopped at the dark grey mark. The collision scene itself was ruined by a gallon of oil exploding at the wrong time, but KARR's jump over KITT was considered to be epic and nobody had the heart to throw it into the waste bin.

And it gave the scipt writer an idea. With a flash of his scanners, he made sure KARR was back from his random yet not quite unexpected game at Three Rings. He was unimaginably happy to have his brother around: being one of a kind didn't only mean that he was unique, but also, he used to be very much alone.

KARR parked himself so that he actually occupied three parking spaces. He seemed to be very pleased with his current life. He didn't mind staying with FLAG since he wasn't their property. In fact, it was the other way around.

"Last night you almost drove my partner over" KITT said to him.

"And?"

"It brought up some old memories."

KARR read the script twice before he made the first statement about it.

"Did you really have no energy for a third shot?" was all he asked. KITT refused to answer.

When they started taking the scenes with humans, the first problem hit: KARR was not willing to let anybody inside him, not even for just a photo. KITT reminded him that he was quite willing to let stunts in just a few episodes ago.

"But they were airborne in a matter of seconds" KARR resisted. "KITT, do me a favor. Shut up and do the scenes for me."

Michael patted his partner's hood.

"Hear that, buddy? KARR is asking almost politely."

Once they were making the scenes with humans interacting with "KARR" the producer was happy to have at least one of the Trans-Ams cooperating and filmed as much as possible at the same time. The real KARR was watching them silently. He still had the red plastic on his scanners, so he hardly see the red flashing inside KITT as he was talking. The people didn't realise the goof either. They were just happy to make the footage, go to bed, and take the close-ups of KARR's voice modulator the other day in the morning.

They also included a scene originally shot for Slammin' Sammy's episode. It was one of the goofy takes when KITT ran into the American Coin Company's building by mistake. Since the two now looked identical, and the movements were impatient and rapid rather than KITT's usual gentleness, the editors decided to add it to KARR's scenes. Only those few who were present at the Stunt Show could tell it was the Two Thousand who hit the wrong door: KARR had a perfect alibi as he was playing rodeo with the stunts and teaching them respect of modern technology such as seat ejection system. Also, only KITT was wearing the silver stars all around his bodywork.

Some shots were a lot easier to take. KARR didn't allow anybody to touch anything on his dashboard, but a passenger on his hood didn't bother him nearly as much. He had the wonderful molecular bonded shield, he knew that Michael Knight would mean no harm on the outside. He simply changed roles with his brother: KITT carried the actor and Bonnie, and also balanced Michael on his top for a few seconds. KARR approached them from behind. For a few moments, he was tempted to jump on the car in front of him and make a pancake of Michael, but his main programming interfered with the idea. If he would do that, KITT would find a way to dismantle him for good. Michael jumped, and arrived on his hood as it was planned. But they didn't even rove out of the camera's angle before he got rid of Michael.

Chickening out from the road didn't seem to be as easy as it first seemed to be. A part of the scene was filmed at a comfortable and safe road in the hills, but KARR was far too experienced to fall for the same trick twice. When he almost did, he actually hit a misplaced camera or shattered the one and only fridge the staff had with them. KITT offered to change the roles if KARR would be willing to take his part, but the older AI was still adamant on not letting anybody (and definitely not Michael Knight!) inside.

The sea was close, tempting. A cold breeze in the harsh summer day, while everybody was sweating on the shore. And now even the fridge was gone! Humans were really pitiful today.

"Just one more attempt, please?" the cameraman begged.

"We need to wait till the new fridge arrives" the producer explained him.

"Whatever" KARR said. "Do what you want, up here!"

"Where are you going?" the director stared. Then, he remembered that KARR had a black paint on him, which collects the rays of the Sun and thus he might have already got a sunstroken.

"I'll take a bath."

He roved off the cliff, and splashed into the water with a head plong. A sigh of relief could be heard as the cooling waves washed the black paint away.


	10. Inside out

Inside out

The mobile unit was still where it was parked several weeks ago, but at least, it was of some use again – other than serving as a background for the series. The scanners of KITT and KARR had to be re-adjusted so that they would have an immediate access to the video materials recorded. As a test of their new abilities, KARR watched the video while it was recording KITT entering the semi. He immediately noticed how horribly the background looked.

"Is this why we had to get the access enabled?" a cameraman murmured.

"Exactly" KITT explained. "This way we can assist the staff. If you are up to do something, do it right."

"And do it with style" April added. "Or don't bother doing it at all."

"There's a fine line between..."

"There's a fine line between adding funny lines to the script and insulting one of my technicians" KARR stated.

"What do you call insulting?"

Before tempers could have flared, Bonnie interfered. KARR showed her the scene that was added to the show after the script was appproved.

"Am I really 168 cm high?" was all she said about it.

"I take it as an approval."

For some reason, the four-wheeled Knights enjoyed another use of their new abilities, and it included their small remote-controled look-a-likes used for scenes where a 1:1 scale destruction would have cost too much. There was always at least one of these miniature KITT copies rolling around the legs of the staff, and the cars didn't even hide their gloat over Glen Larson falling into the set because of them.

"KITT you should learn to DRIVE!"

"That's exactly what I'm doing, Mr. Larson."

KARR wanted to be of some use, but after having his own episode last time, everyone seemed to think it had to be enough for a while. Even he had to agree they had a point. Is there anything less useful than a loaded gun after a nice rinse?

"Michael. Do you know what's strange?"

"What, KITT?"

"Everyone keeps telling me I have a phone-like voice."

"That's true, KITT, but that's what we got used to".

"They didn't even hear me through a phone yet."

"No, KITT, but I do. You're a horrible phone rascal. Is there anyone in the staff who gave you a reason to wake them up at 2 AM?" Michael asked. He thanked God that at least KARR wasn't such a night person like KITT. That would be an even worse combination.

This last question gave KITT an idea. Even if he wasn't supposed to call anybody at 2:00, how about a phone call at 2:02?

It went better than he expected. The staff member said he didn't mind the joke if KITT would go and get him some coffee.

They only forgot about one thing: KITT still couldn't make coffee. And this time, his failed attempt was recorded – including the part he quietly opened the door and left while the humans were trying to put out the fire he started.

KARR gasped. He scanned the vehicle that was borrowed for filming on the other day, but he just couldn't help staring at it in awe. Not if trucks would have interested him so far. But now he couldn't stop scanning the red semitruck. It seemed so... majestic. Strong and secure. It would dominate the screen just like it dominates the road. It wouldn't gain as mush attention as an intelligent car, of course, but it would certainly leave an "It's HIM!" impression wherever it would go.

KARR knew that whatever will happen, this red semitruck will have an unquestionable impact on his life.


	11. The final verdict

The final verdict

KITT parked himself at an empty corner of the Knight property and decided not to come out until he got some inspiration for writing. Not if the show didn't have additional writers, but he was keen on writing – he was the best source of information, to start with. He knew all the characteristics of everyone involved. Why wasn't he able to come up with something now? He had all information to put together, but none of these could fit in to the scene he had half-written. He was stuck at the point where Michael comes out of a bar. Back then, nothing happened, but the rythm of the TV show demanded some action. A "showing-off scene" as Devon put it once. KITT wondered what else may be needed. Probably Michael making fun of himself? That would be good but right now he couldn't come up with any action of his driver that would be suitable.

"KITT where are you?"

It was his driver! The one he's been thinking about. Was this some kind of telepathy?

"I'm waiting for some inspiration for writing, Michael."

"But where? I can't find you at our parking place."

KITT didn't wish to be disturbed right now, but he could tell Michael was coming in his direction anyway. Telepathy indeed.

"So, where are you, KITT?" Michael asked, still talking into the commlink he wore as a watch.

"I am right next to you, Michael. And thank you."

"You're welcome, KITT. Hey, wait! You thank me for what?"

"You just gave me something to include in the script."

Last time KITT and KARR were playing with their remote controlled mini-mes. This time, KITT was playing in large. Only, the fork-lift trailer didn't seem to cooperate. Bonnie guessed KITT's unluck had to do with the far too many electric fences he crossed recently – she said it seems to have worse effect on the car than a drunk driver would have.

Nevertheless, the remainings of the loudspeaker system still made the warehouse look like a disaster area.

"What is this car chase scene?" KARR asked in a demanding tone.

"It is what it is: a car chase scene" the director answered. "Why? Do you have a better idea, Mr. Knight?"

"Have you ever tried filming a tag with look-a-likes?"

"You mean, you don't want to be left out. I promise you won't."

KARR forgot to double-check each shot where he acted out KITT's role. He should have been a director of photography instead of a stunt. But then, again, life would have been boring. Who could even imagine a TV series without goofs like the cars showing up together sometimes?


	12. A plush ride

A plush ride

Even the strongest friendships need a break sometimes, and Michael Knight took his break that day. He woke up in a bad mood, told KITT to shut up several times (even more several than usually) so now he had to drive on his own. He told himself that he shouldn't forget how to drive a normal car, but KITT's comments on his style irritated him even more. When he finally left the property with Devon's car, KITT pretended not to notice at all.

"That's one reason I don't have a driver" KARR said as he rolled next to him.

"I thought one of your drivers is in deep coma while the other one is sitting in prison" KITT commented. But even he knew it was just an excuse – if KARR wanted to have a driver, he could have found one by now. But wasn't the Automated right about this?

"Even I wonder sometimes about accepting a driver" KARR suddenly admitted. "Devon once compared me to a loaded gun. I feel as if I was loaded with wax sometimes."

"But some other times, you are loaded with lead" KITT said. Haven't they just admitted being jealous of each other? "And sometimes, the lead is covered with gold, don't forget that."

KARR scanned KITT, as if he was interested in his mental status.

Filming with KITT when he was hurt was harder than expected. For most scenes, KARR could jump in, but he refused to let Michael Knight in his driver's seat. When Michael tried to persuade KITT for just one scene or two, they soon found themselves rolling down the way to a canyon and KITT was not willing to stop until it was almost too late. KITT was programmed to keep Michael safe, and the human made an advantage of it.

Worst of all, the film makers loved their confrontation and dogged them like a herd of paparazzi. But even if they were in a horrible mood, the show had to go on.


End file.
